Counting down...

Well, I find myself on a borrowed computer, counting down the days until I hear from Future Shop again...
I have been having problems with the disc drive on my laptop (otherwise referred to as my "girlfriend" ... don't ask why... ) for the last few months. I wasn't worried about it, cause I don't use it too much. I didn't think I'd bought a service plan when I'd bought the laptop, and it just wasn't worth the cost to get the bloody thing replaced.
Until today...
My lady fell off the couch, and landed quite nicely on the power connector... which snapped.
That was when I found out that I had in fact bought a 3-year extended warranty. Since I was taking it into the shop anyways to confirm that I had just snapped the head off the cord and not damaged the connector itself, I decided to get the disc drive replaced.
The news was not exactly good...
As I had expected, the service plan does not cover the cord, as that was physical damage. According to the guy at the shop, I'd be looking at about $200 for a new one. (since we got home I have found other options, thank god...)
As for the disc drive... They think that they can replace it. But my lady will be in the shop for the next month or so.
Which means that I'm without my lady until then, and I'm borrowing Duncan's old laptop from when he was in NAIT...
She's nothing like my own lady, and I'm finding it awkward to use her, so I don't know how much I'll be online or how much writing I'll get done. I know that this sounds retarded, but working on someone else's computer just isn't the same as working on my own.
I can't express how frustrated and upset about this I am... Though the few of you that know me really well and recall the time just before I got my last computer may have some ideas what my reaction was to this whole mess.
One of the worst parts of this is that I probably won't have my computer for my birthday.
Wish me luck over the next few weeks (and believe me, I desperately ask for your wishes!!!), and I hope to be back as soon as possible!

Sleep and the nature of the writer... and more...

There's a few things I think I have to say right now...

The first involves the way that writing buggers a sleep cycle.
A friend of mine commented on this in her blog a little while ago (http://rachlanger.blogspot.com/2009/02/pandoras-box.html), and I myself have been experiencing the effects over the last week or so.
Take last night, for example... I think I was lucky to get a whole two hours sleep last night, and even those two hours were far from restful. I wandered through my day like a zombie because my mind was running around about a million different things. And I'd say that probably 750,000 of that million was stuff about my writing (in one way or another).
Of course, considering other circumstances in my life at the moment, I'm not going to place all the blame for my sleeplessness on my writing, but it is a large part of it.

Secondly, I feel as though I am learning more about my own nature as a writer...
The nature of the writer is pain, struggle, difficulty. Perhaps the true nature of the writer is escape and exorcism.
My best work is done when I'm struggling through something, battling some kind of inner demon, feeling some sort of intense emotion. When I encounter something in my life that I don't know how to deal with, I write. I don't usually write about what I'm dealing with, but it seems to help none-the-less.
And beyond all that, the nature of the writer is solitary, and yet dependent.
I work best when I'm alone. Home by myself on my days off, or up late at night after everyone else has gone to bed. I think I'd be the kind of person who would go away on my own for the weekend and spend all my time writing (if I had some place to go, that is), and be perfectly happy doing so. It would be an interesting experiment, and I would like to try it some day. Be out somewhere with my writing supplies, my imagination, and my cell phone as my only real connection to the rest of the world. (Part of me insists that me and my "girlfriend" - aka my laptop - would need wireless internet too, but that's really just too much of a distraction. Too many things to do other than write... It just doesn't balance the few writing tools that I use online)
And yet... I like to share my work. I enjoy knowing what other people think of the thing I've created. And I feel... almost almost a little hollow when I can't share, or don't share, or get no response to what I have shared.
I thrive on solitude, and yet I crave feedback and input... So apparently the nature of the writer is a little bi-polar *chuckles*

Experiments... Or maybe exercises would be a better word.
I would be interested in trying out a few different writing exercises... I saw a writers desk kit thingie at Chapters once a long time ago, that had a book of different writing exercises, one for each week of the year (or something like that). I mocked the idea at the time, but as I've gotten older, and learned more about myself and my craft, I wish I'd looked into it a little deeper.
I cannot be content to do as I've always done, but I don't know how to go about doing things differently. And I'm at the age where I'm willing, even enthusiastic, about admitting that I need some help.
Now I just have to take that admission and move forward with it.

And now, with those thoughts removed from the ones flying around my head, perhaps an evening of relaxation will help me sleep.

*bows deeply, and wanders away*

My latest story ... the promised exerpt!

I promised that once I had something worth sharing, I'd share.
This is the latest idea that's drifted into my head and anchored itself in my thoughts.
For anyone who's read the exerpts from my last story, don't worry. I am still working on it. It's not going to fall by the wayside!

~~~

Everyone had tried to talk her out of making the trip to the cabin, but the more they talked, the more determined she was to go. Even though she was only a few weeks away from her due date, she just had to get out of the city. She needed rest, and she needed peace, and she wasn't going to get either surrounded by a city full of concrete and steel. The cabin was the only place that she'd ever really felt at peace, and she needed that right now even more than she needed sleep. She finished her last day of work, left a few voice messages telling people where she was going, and then she climbed into the car.
By the time she made it out to the lake, the sun was only a few hours from setting. The cabin was stuffy from being closed up, and overheated from the long day under the summer sun. She'd opened the windows, but it wasn't until she was getting ready for bed that she remembered to turn on the air conditioner.
The air conditioner was little and old, and down in the kitchen. It couldn't cool the cabin very quickly, and the bedrooms upstairs were always the last to benefit. About an hour before midnight, after tossing and turning for what felt like forever, she'd finally gotten dressed again and gone out to sit by the water. The breeze off the lake was cool, the sound of the waves lapping the shore was soothing, almost hypnotizing, and the moonlight was a pale, silvery glow. Within minutes, she was sleeping deeply in the grass.
As the old mantle clock in the cabin struck one, she still lay sleeping, sprawled on the ground at the edge of the lake, her heavy, pregnant body an untidy heap in the long grass. Her flowing white blouse and pale, faded blue jeans almost seemed to glow in the moonlight, and the tiny, multi-colored crystals threaded into her long black hair glimmered like a rainbow of stars. Her eyes were closed and her chest rose and fell in the regular rhythm of sleep.

~~~

Fascinations...

Over the last few days it's become clear to me how much my fascinations influence my writing.
Two fascinations in particular really. Elements in personalities, and sensory experiences.

I've always believed, and maybe it's strange of me, that everyone's personality has one of the four elements dominant in it. Earth, Air, Fire, and Water. And beyond this, that each element is represented by some particular trait, or characteristic.
The strength, stability and balance of Earth. The logic and intellect of Air. The vitality, the life-force, and the passion of Fire. The intuition and vast emotionalism of Water.
I couldn't say where my fascination for this came from, but it's something I've thought of as far back as I can remember, and I find that I apply the same kind of thinking to my characters when I am defining their personalities.
Of course, I'm not saying that anyones personality is strictly one thing or the other. Most people do have a nice balance of two elements. Though there is the occasional person (like myself, for example... :p) who have an abundance of just one element.
Even more interesting, is that in my closest circle of friends, all 4 elements are definitively represented. The vibrancy and laughter, the wild power of Fire. The beauty and stability, the mighty strength of Earth. The knowledge and intellect, the logic of Air. The intuition, the emotionalism, the depth of Water.
There are 5 of us, but we compliment each other so well. We balance so beautifully.

I've always been fascinated by my senses, particularly touch and scent.
I can be enthralled by something soft and smooth under my fingertips, or by the touch of something rough. I have a lot of clothes that are pleasing to the touch, either because they're fuzzy, or silky, or just plain soft. And contrasts between textures seem to fascinate me even more.
And I know that they say scent is one of the most powerful of our senses, and I find that easy to believe. I can be swept away by scents. Into memory, sometimes. Or into imagination.
I think that this has always shown itself very prominently in my writing. I have always written very descriptively, very vividly. It just feels so natural to me to talk about the things that my characters see, taste, touch, hear, and smell, just as much as I talk about what they think, know and feel.
I think that what our senses experience becomes just as much a part of who we are as what our personalities are, so it doesn't make any sense to me to leave them out or belittle them in my writing.

I've actually been working on something new... As well as trying to work on my other story. I don't have much down yet, but once I do, I'll post a little here for you all to read.