Life or Death? Maybe not...

You know, usually, I'd say that I have no life. Actually, I'd even go so far as to say that if I had less of a life, I'd be dead.

But honestly, over the last few months, I think I've come to change that opinion... Mostly without even realizing it.

Over the last few months I've actually been getting out of the house more often, spending time out with friends, going to movies, restaurants, things like that.

And I've come to realize that I'm lucky to have the friends I do. They believe in me when I can't believe in myself, and they're there to support me whenever I need it. They're always there with quiet encouragement, bolstering me, holding my spirits up when I feel like I just can't do it on my own anymore.
And they understand that sometimes I need that, and they don't push me too far... They help me to see myself as better than I do, without forcing it on me. They understand that someone as screwed up as I am won't be fixed in a minute, and they're willing to take their time to help me. And they have. I don't know if they realize that, but it's true. And I don't know if I'll ever be able to thank any of them enough.

And not only have I been actually spending more time out of the house, but I've been writing again. Really writing. I've got more than 10,000 words done right now, and I have tons more in my head to write.
And it's good. Really good. I mean, I'm not saying that I'll be a trillion dollar best seller right off the bat, but I actually don't hate what I've written for once. That really doesn't happen very often. Not with my fiction. With poetry maybe, but not with anything else. This could actually be my first novel someday.
All I know for sure is that I want to keep writing this story. There's been a few times I've been tempted to quit, just because I feel like I'm in way over my head (leave it to me to write something I know nothing about and still do it well!), but really, I don't want to quit. I'm enjoying writing again, and I want to see this story to the end.

It really is an amazing thing to find out that you're not as miserable as you thought...