Friday, January 29, 2010

Musings from a day off...

So, it's my day off. Obviously, I guess, or I wouldn't have titled this post what I did. :p

I'm sitting here in my armchair, watching bad TV, trying to type around a cat on my lap, feeling my baby move, and thinking.

The thinking seems related to both the cat, and the baby.

I'm sure that most of you know that I've got 2 cats. Rhea, and Gemini (fondly known as Gemi). They're both SPCA kitties, and we got them about a year apart. When we first got them, Rhea seemed to have chosen me as her person, and then when Gemi came along, she chose Duncan as hers. In the last 20 weeks or so (since we found out that I'm pregnant) that seems to be changing.

Gemi has decided that I'm not allowed to be anywhere by myself. If I'm in the living room on the armchair, she's either on the couch or in her little kitty box by the kitchen door. If I go into the kitchen for a drink, or a snack, she follows me in there, and howls at me until I go back to the living room to sit down. If I have a bath, she comes into the bathroom and lies on the bathmat (well, on my clothes or my housecoat, or the towel...) until I get out. If I go downstairs to get something out of the second fridge, or the freezer, or the laundry room, she follows me and howls around my ankles until I'm back upstairs and sitting down again.

The cats used to sleep together on the bed, curled up by Duncan's feet. Now it's just Gemi for the most part, and she doesn't sleep at the bottom much. She usually sleeps between us, curled up mostly on the body pillow that we've bought (it makes it much easier for me to actually get any sleep), and partly on whichever one of us happens to be warmer. If we let her, she'd be sleeping between our pillows, but we discourage that as much as we can. Considering the fact that we're, you know... SLEEPING! *chuckles* Honestly, Gemi's kinda become a bully, but I wonder if she's doing it cause she's trying to be protective... Though when it comes down to it, I'd much rather have teeny Rhea jump on me in the middle of the night than giant-size Gemi!

Be right back... Need to find a DVD to watch... The selection on TV is awful!
...
Sorry, decided I should get something to eat while I was up.

The baby. I've been feeling the baby move a lot, and I feel the time pass until my due date even more. It's exciting, and it's scary, and the changes that I've been seeing in myself (mostly my body), are just as scary and exciting, and kinda depressing. I've been having a hard time getting used to it all, really.

Mostly, at least so far, I've been having a hard time getting used to the change in my size. I've never been one to be very interested in my looks, but now that I don't look the way I used to, I find that I miss them. And my body feels different from inside than it used to. And it's changed the way I move; I can't do things that I'm used to doing. I'm tired, and I have indigestion, and my sinuses are almost constantly congested. Don't get me wrong... I'm excited to be pregnant, but physically, I've been rather uncomfortable. I feel ungainly, and unattractive, and some days, it really gets me down.

The funny thing is, all the weight I've gained is straight out in front of me. I have a round little belly, but from behind, I look pretty much exactly as I always have. I haven't gained weight in my face or my hands or my feet. Just out in front.

Well, I don't really know where this post is going, or what else I want to say, so for now, I think I'll go eat some lunch. It's been sitting beside me for almost an hour! *chuckles*

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Welcome to the New Year

So, it's the beginning of January, in the year 2010.

I've never really been one for making new years resolutions, but I have always been one for reflection, and over the last few days I've certainly been doing a lot of that. I think that part of it is because of my husband's most recent blog post. (http://ghostsinthegame.blogspot.com/2010/01/i-resolve.html) He's not usually one for reflection, but every once in a while... *shrugs* Anyways...

Like I said, I've been doing a lot of thinking over the last few days, mostly about what has happened in my life in the last 10 years...

I found my husband...
I graduated from high school...
I found one of the best friends I think I'll ever have... (you better know who you are!)
I lost my uncle, one of the most important men in my life...
I got my batchelor's degree...
I got my first job, which I'm still at...
I got married...
I moved away from home...
I found some friends that I had lost contact with, and are now some of the best friends I think I'll ever have... (you better know who you are, too!)
I lost my dad, the most important man in my life...
I bought a house...
I got cats of my own (I'd always had cats at home but when we were renting we couldn't have pets)...
Our house was broken into and we were robbed...
I bought a car, which involved getting rid of a car that had belonged not only to my dad, but to my grandpa...
We were in a car accident... In our new car...
I got pregnant...

There's been a lot more, obviously, but these are some of the big things.

And I wonder about how these things have affected the person I've become, and the way that person views the world around her.

And I wonder about what's going to happen in the future... In the year to come? In the next 5 years? In the next 10 years? Some of the answers are fairly obvious (like the baby coming!), but some of them... I just don't know.

Anyways, the long and the short of this is, I have a blessing and a wish for all of you.

The blessing is one that I actually have on a wall hanging in my living room. I'm just passing it on.

"May the sun
Bring you new energy by day.
May the moon
Softly restore you by night.
May the rain
Wash away your worries.
May the breeze
Blow more strength into your being.
May you walk gently through the world
And know it's beauty
All the days of your life."

The wish is similar, but it's from me.

May your life be full of joy and wonder, and may the bad never be outweighed by the good. May you never have more troubles than you can bear with the help of those closest to you, and may each trouble only make you stronger.

All the best in the new year!